Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
