I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
