bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
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I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
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This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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