I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
