Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize