Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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