Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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