I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
ugly people sure do ruin things
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
