I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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