If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
