its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
