i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
there is glitter all over my balls
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
