Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize