This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
