you have to choose: penises or morals?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
