I heard we made out
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
