He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
