WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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