I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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