I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
