brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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