so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
