Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
