I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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