I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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