she kept yelling 'call me bella'
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize