With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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