You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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