So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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