PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
