i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
