When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
