What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
