i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You are a genius and a whore.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
