question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We left an ass print on the piano.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize