I wish I only lived at night.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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