Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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