Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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