i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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