The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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