You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
two words: eviction party
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
