Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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