in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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