I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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