Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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