we have pet lesbian snakes
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official drugs can't kill me
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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