im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
