I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
