Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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