you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
