I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize