yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
