If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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