my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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