It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize