i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Mom said you looked used
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
