Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
